Wake Your Dream

52 - Why We Look For Answers

In this episode, Annaliese and Alan explore why we tend to go into "answer mode" when we go through challenges in relationships, personal life, failures, goals, and uncertainties. Annaliese explores how to shift unhelpful ways we think about answers and control, and use our energy more effectively to achieve true satisfaction and security when life is unpredictable.
You'll Hear About:-The Pitfalls of Answer-Seeking:Constantly seeking answers can lead to you feeling ineffective or hurt in life's experiences. Notice how living in "answer mode" isn't helping you handle your life and experiences confidently or satisfyingly.-Redefining Life's Purpose: Expecting life to always feel or be "good" makes us view uncomfortable emotions as problems to solve. Instead, we benefit more from seeing life as a journey needing direction rather than a problem needing concrete answers. Feelings are not made to be fixed but felt, giving us information that helps us choose a better direction.-Leveraging Negative Feelings: Use uncomfortable emotions to identify where you’re seeking answers or control. Let go of the need for answers and stay open to new directions.
Resources:- Experience coaching with Annaliese! Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese to schedule your FREE, 1-hour Discovery Chat. Share your story with Annaliese and gain her valuable coaching tips for your real-life changes.
How To Practice Letting Go of Answer Mode:-Recognize Your Cue Feelings: Notice when you feel pressure, overwhelm, or anxiety.-Physical Release: Clench your fists, then gently open your hands, repeating this to sense yourself letting go of "needing" answers.-Helpful Thoughts: Repeat to yourself, “Let go. Just for now.”-Reflective Questions: Ask yourself, “What question am I trying to answer?”, “What answer am I looking for?”, and “What would make me trust this answer? Why?”-Shift to Curiosity: Embrace curiosity over desperation. Instead of seeking answers, create space to recognize what you already know and bring to the table.Listen today to be able to catch "answer mode" more when you're in it, and make your experience with life's ups and down much more satisfying.

51 - Is Self-Care Selfish?

In this episode, Annaliese and Alan dive into the common misconception that self-care is selfish. They unpack how to differentiate between selfishness and genuine self-care, encouraging you to redefine your standards and give yourself permission to care for your well-being.
You’ll Hear About:
-Exploring "Selfish": Discover what "selfish" means to you and how this current perception influences how you treat others and yourself. By understanding your own definition, you can approach self-care more openly and freely.-Recognizing Avoidance: Identify what you're avoiding out of guilt or pressure when it comes to self-care. Do you agree you "should" avoid these choices? Consider if you would support a friend making the same choices for their own well-being.-Handling Pushback: Expect that some people won't understand your self-care choices. Learn to own your reasons for these choices, and consider if you'd encourage others to make similar choices for their well-being. 
RESOURCES:
Free Coaching Call with Annaliese:Experience a free, 1-hour Discovery Chat with Annaliese. Visit http://linktree.com/coachannaliese to schedule with Annaliese and gain her helpful tips for your real life changes.Redefine Selfishness:  1. Notice your current thoughts and actions labeled as "selfish." Do you agree that they're truly selfish?  2. Identify any double standards you hold (are you giving yourself access to the care you would treat others?).  3. Create a new, clear definition of selfishness for yourself that aligns with your values and allows you to practice healthy self-care.Establish a New Self-Care Standard:  1. Assess your current beliefs about self-care to see if they're helping you or holding you back from supporting your needs better.  2. Develop a definition of self-care that truly supports you getting your needs met. 3. Implement a "no double standards" rule. Be aware that you're treating yourself as kindly as you would treat others.  4. Clarify what you value and how you would handle your relationships in an unselfish way. This helps you better communicate and manage your self-care choices and let go of unnecessary guilt.Listen in today to understand better what you think about selfishness so you can take charge of your thoughts and give yourself access to the self-care practices you want and need!

50 - Deciding What's "Enough"

Annaliese and Alan talk about the idea of being satisfied and genuinely feeling like you’ve done “enough” in your life. Annaliese highlights the challenge and importance of giving yourself permission to let go of perfectionism and shows how to decide your efforts are sufficient.
You’ll Hear About:- Identifying your own experience with not feeling satisfied or feeling like what you’ve done isn’t enough. See more reasons why you feel that way instead of just thinking you're not measuring up.- Noticing when you’re measuring “enough” by things you can’t control. Holding an unattainable, non-specific standard for yourself means you’ll never reach it!- Decide and choose more of what you actually want to shoot for and understand better why accomplishing something is important to you. This helps you create more satisfaction for yourself. Measuring what’s truly significant to you stops you from holding joy and authenticity at arm’s length and starts helping you accept your efforts.
Resources:- Want to experience coaching with Annaliese? Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese to schedule your FREE, 1-hour Discovery Chat. Share your story and results you want with Annaliese and learn coaching tips to make real, effective changes in your life.
STEPS TO DECIDE WHAT’S ENOUGH:1. Notice and own what you already know and what you’re bringing to the table to start a task or pursuit. This builds more trust and confidence in yourself.2. Focus your attention on you instead of others or outside circumstances. Notice how you’re actually choosing to use your time and effort. Decide what you want to put into the pursuit/task that would make you feel proud of your efforts.3. Instead of measuring "enough" based on outcome or others’ responses, measure your time use, your level of thoughtfulness, and the level of discipline and dedication you brought to the task.4. Choose to celebrate feeling complete in how you approached and worked on the task.Listen in today to get some practical ways to see how to approach things you want to achieve in your life in a way more effective way for you!

49 - Your Own Version Of Self-Care

Annaliese and Alan explore the concept of self-care, which often feels like a buzzword and inaccessible. They discuss practical ways to think about and use self-care more in your daily life, making it truly beneficial and not just another task to strive at. Annaliese emphasizes the importance of giving yourself permission to enjoy small self-care steps daily, fostering a sense of support and joy.
You’ll Hear About:- Making self-care decisions that genuinely benefit you, without making it another chore.- Identifying what you need more of in your day to pick small, supportive self-care steps that feel right to you.- Recognizing limiting, unhelpful thoughts of selfishness or guilt that prevent you from picking self-care. Reflect on where you might be neglecting your own needs.- Understanding that your joy in life is as important as your healing. In a world where we can't control much, intentional self-care helps you build trust and consistency with yourself, providing access to both joy and healing.
Resources:- Experience coaching with Annaliese! Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese to schedule your FREE, 1-hour Discovery Chat. Share your story with her and get practical tips for real change.-EVALUATE YOUR SELF-CARE:     -Is it truly working for your good, or just a workaround? Are you dedicating time and energy to your real needs? Does your self-care bring you joy and healing?-SELF-CARE MAKES YOU FEEL: safe, seen, supported, stabilizing, healing, connected, and cared-for.-SELF-CARE DOES NOT MAKE YOU FEEL: distracted, numb, disconnected, escaping, avoiding, or hacking.
Listen in to discover actionable self-care strategies that prioritize your well-being your way!

48 - How Honesty Impacts Your Life

In this episode, Annaliese and Alan dive into the transformative power of honesty, especially when it feels risky. Annaliese shares her personal journey in embracing honesty and offers practical tips on how to let go of people-pleasing to become your true self across all areas of life.
You'll Hear About:- The fear we each have of being more honest, and how facing it helps build your self-trust as you accept and embrace your reality.- How when you contribute your authentic self more in your interactions, you feel more assured that others are experiencing you as you really are.- How choosing honesty empowers you to make decisions based on your actual desires rather than external pressures or expectations.
Resources:- Experience coaching with Annaliese! Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese to schedule your FREE, 1-hour Discovery Chat. Share your story and get valuable tips to start making your real life changes.
3 Places & Ways to Be More Honest:1. Inside yourself:   - Prioritize your own thoughts, feelings, and values. Take some quality time with yourself to understand what you truly think and care about.2. In your home & relationships:   - Bring more of your own authenticity to your marriage, parenting, and friendships. This openness from you on purpose invites others to do the same, fostering deeper connections and being more open to risking misunderstandings for a better quality relationship.3. At work:   - See where you can create necessary conversations and increase your own self-awareness in the moment. Identify where you're avoiding issues and take small steps to address them. Aim to be more solution-oriented and clear inside yourself about the goals you're shooting for to get better results.
We hop you join us as we all explore how honesty can lead to a more authentic and empowered life.

47 - How Self-Compassion Brings Real, Lasting Growth

In This Episode:Annaliese and Alan explore a simple, important building block for making your growth lasting and real. Annaliese highlights the transformative power of building your growth on the foundation of self-compassion, which helps you thrive and trust yourself beyond just hitting goals.
You’ll Hear About:-The myth of doing “more” or “enough” might be a reason change hasn’t stuck for you. Discover how pushing yourself less and supporting yourself more is what helps you move forward while growing your self-belief.- Using self-compassion to change:  1. Check that no goal you make overshadows your personal priorities and the things that truly matter in your life.  2. Aim for goals that enhance your quality of life, not diminish it in pursuit of success.-Shaming yourself as motivation really harms you by damaging your self-concept and decreasing the sustainability of changes you make.-Recognize your mindset when pursuing change. Are you supporting yourself, envisioning possibilities, and allowing yourself to learn and start anew? These types of self-compassionate thoughts are key to more effective growth goals.
Resources:- Experience coaching with Annaliese! Schedule your FREE, 1-hour Discovery Chat at www.linktree.com/coachannaliese. Share your story with her and she'll personalize actionable tips for the real changes you want to see.
How Compassion Builds Better Change:- Your Thoughts: Shift from the limiting defeat of  “I don’t matter” to setting yourself free by accepting mistakes more and embracing all the steps of change along the way.- Your Feelings: Move from feeling trapped and judgmental to feeling allowing, calm, and free to try.- Your Actions: Transition from forced actions and overthinking to being open, curious, and willing to try new things.
The Cost of Not Having Compassion:1. Narrows your perspective, making success seem more important than better quality of life.2. Limits your choices based on limiting thoughts of worthiness, cutting you off from possibilities that are actually available to you.3. Reinforces harmful self-ideas, linking your worth to perfectionism.4. Increases stress and misery; because harsh approaches create a harsh reality.Listen today to stop getting trapped in a cycle of harshness as you're pursuing your goals - make your growth journey a way better experience for yourself!

46 - What Makes It Hard To Communicate? (And What Can Help!)

In this episode, Annaliese and Alan dive into the challenges of effective communication and explore how to have more productive conversations. Annaliese shares practical tips to enhance self-awareness and improve your interactions with others, leading to smoother and more meaningful exchanges.
You’ll Hear About:- How misunderstandings happen without us realizing it, and strategies to stop the negative narratives in your mind. Practicing self-awareness in communication helps you respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively, making you feel proud of your interactions.- The benefits of planning your key points before a conversation and being mindful of jumping to conclusions about the other person’s responses. This preparation can lead to more effective and smoother discussions.- Techniques for staying present during tough conversations, reminding yourself that you have control over how and what you communicate. This approach helps prevent spiraling into negativity or shutting down when facing difficult talks.
Resources:- Experience coaching with Annaliese! Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese to schedule your FREE 1-hour Discovery Chat. Share your story and gain practical tips from Annaliese on how to create real change in your life.
WHAT CAN HELP COMMUNICATION:1. Check in with yourself to understand your current emotional state and experience.2. Pair this mental check-in with a reassuring touch, like placing a hand on your chest or arm, to feel more grounded and open.3. If the conversation isn’t going well, try introducing the mood or statements you wish were present. Remember, you and the other person can always explore different angles.4. Ask more questions to invite openness and curiosity, reducing defensiveness and fostering a calmer conversation atmosphere.Listen today to feel less alone, and more capable to try different ways to have better conversations about hard things!

45 - Healthier Habits For Your Day: Part 2

Annaliese and Alan unpack their own experiences more, and talk through practical ways to check in with yourself when you feel your daily experience needs a shift. They share their personal steps and offer insights on how you can implement these practices to create meaningful changes in your life.
YOU'LL HEAR ABOUT
Notice What Works for You: Give yourself permission to experiment with different check-in methods, such as physically slowing down, focusing on your breath, placing your hand on your chest, or clenching and unclenching your hand to notice your feelings.
Daily Check-In Practice: Learn how to start a consistent check-in routine to better trust and support yourself.
Permission to Say No: Understand the importance of saying No to create the margin for the Yes’s that truly matter.
RESOURCES
Experience Coaching with Annaliese: Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese to schedule your FREE, 1-hour Discovery Chat. Share your story and receive personalized tips to make real changes in your life.
Practices To Check In with Yourself:
Clench Your Hand: Interrupt negative or fearful feelings by making a fist and identifying the sensations in your body. This practice helps you become more familiar with your emotions, providing stability throughout your day.
Slow Down: Take a physical posture of ownership by slowing down. Notice and experience your feelings with curiosity and openness. Allocate time for yourself and remind yourself that you are in charge. This helps you understand your thoughts and improve them.
Early Day Journaling: Spend 3-5 minutes brain dumping your thoughts. Then spend another 3-5 minutes listing truth statements for yourself. These truth statements are reminders that help you focus on who you want to be, how you want to act, and the feelings you want to cultivate during your day and whatever you're doing.
Listen in for more about these simple yet powerful practices and how you can use them to transform your daily life!

44 - Healthier Habits For Your Day: Part 1

Annaliese and Alan talk about how to begin healthier habits by recognizing and understanding your daily experiences so you can make new choices that work better for you. Annaliese shares actionable tips on how to begin helpful change by choosing different little ways to handle your day. They emphasize that meaningful, proactive living begins with small, intentional steps to grow your awareness.
You’ll Hear About:- How when you notice your daily experiences, it can seem like “it is what it is,” but reminding yourself that awareness is the first step toward any healthier changes you might make.- The significance of identifying when something bothers you, prompting you to check in with yourself to understand your feelings, what they're caused by, and what they're telling you.- Developing healthier habits by paying attention to your emotions helps guide you to choosing the support you need.- How practicing trusting your awareness and insights more is what helps you realize you’re on the right path.
Resources:-Experience coaching with Annaliese for yourself! Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese to schedule your FREE, 1-hour Discovery Chat. Share your story with Annaliese and she'll help you gain helpful tips to make real changes in your life.
The Best Way To Start Becoming Aware of Your Daily Experience:1. Focus on your inner experience (feelings) rather than just your outer accomplishments.2. Don’t discount your feelings as too small or petty; each one is significant and conveys important information to you about you.3. Use what you're seeing about your overall experience to identify where you need extra support or where you can offer yourself more grace, understanding, or empowering messages.
3 Questions To Start More Self-Awareness in Your Day:1. What feels unhealthy about my day?2. What might I need more of?3. What am I doing or feeling too much of in my day?
Embrace your answers with curiosity; sometimes what feels bad is actually good for you (ex. the challenge of self-discipline), and what feels good may not be beneficial (ex. "the right thing at the wrong time").Be encouraged as you listen today to make real change in your day!

43 - Are You Succeeding At The Wrong Things?

Annaliese and Alan walk through idea of succeeding at the wrong things in life and what truly brings you satisfaction and fulfillment. Annaliese highlights the difference you feel when you focus on who you’re being and becoming, rather than just chasing external success.
You’ll Hear About:- The myth of what you’re “supposed to” be doing and pursuing. True fulfillment comes from recognizing if your goals are genuinely satisfying and purposeful.- How meaning and purpose are what should drive your actions. Outer achievements can't create inner peace and satisfaction.- Identifying your “thing" by examining your default priorities and motivations. Are they providing security, satisfaction, and fulfillment? By understanding your usual patterns, you can start asking the right questions to solve problems more effectively.- The importance of your own definition of success. Do you know what it is? Reflect on why you pursue things the way you do. Clarifying your goals helps you recognize where you might be missing the mark.
Resources:- Schedule your FREE, 1-hour Discovery Chat with Annaliese at www.linktree.com/coachannaliese. Share your experiences and get coached on achieving the results you're hoping for, while taking away practical tips for real change.HOW TO FIND WHAT YOU’RE SUCCEEDING AT:  1. Define “success” for yourself. What does it mean, and is it working for you?  2. Identify how your current habits block you from new experiences (e.g., constant busyness prevents rest). The status quo can hinder change.  3. Describe the “right” things for you. What’s missing that you want more of, and how would achieving them improve your life?Continue this conversation by listening to our “Find Your Why” episode so you can explore your next steps of building real success in your life: https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-9hjpq-14c476d