Wake Your Dream

19 - Speaking Your Needs In Your Marriage

In This Episode: Annaliese and Alan dive into the intricacies of addressing your needs inside your marriage and relationships. Annaliese underlines the importance of trusting yourself, embracing honesty, and navigating growth openly—especially when it's different from your partner's path and experience.
What You'll Hear About:- Discover the key to maintaining balance and connection by trusting and accepting yourself more.- Learn how to navigate change within your relationship by openly sharing your experiences, even if your partner may not fully understand.- Understand the natural differences in needs between partners and the importance of open communication.- Explore the power of choice when your partner has needs you desire, and how prioritizing self-care can fulfill your own needs.- Overcome the guilt associated with recognizing and expressing your needs. Do this by honoring your experiences more inside yourself and giving yourself permission to prioritize self-care.
Resources:- www.linktree.com/coachannaliese Want support living like the real you, more and more? Click my link for your free 60-minute Discovery Chat. Just an hour of no-strings chatting with me about the situation you’re dealing with and get insightful tools and support. This might be all you need! Can't wait to connect with you.-Know Your Needs Journaling:This list of questions to ask yourself helps you notice your need, accept your need more, and brainstorm how you’d like to communicate it to your partner.    -What do I think my need is?    -Why do I feel trapped or unsupported right now?    -Where is the pressure feeling or trigger coming from?    -What’s the pressure feeling telling me I can’t get?    -What would I want access to if I could just snap my fingers and didn’t have to       have a conversation about it?
-Communicating Needs In Your Marriage As A “2-Way Street”:To avoid a double standard or divisiveness, create more openness, safety, and honesty in your marriage by practicing this way to communicate.     -When you ask for support (not permission) from your partner in getting your        need met, it’s healthiest to make your need clear to your partner and also        invite your partner to be honest and clear asking for support in getting their        own needs met too.     -Cultivate a standard of support in your marriage by inviting both partner’s        needs to the table openly, clearly, and regularly.
Tune in for practical insights on fostering honesty, connection, and authenticity in your marriage. It's time to speak your needs AND strengthen the bond with your partner. Let's wake up your dream of having a fulfilling and genuine relationship!

18 - You Can Change The Story In Your Head

In This Episode:
Annaliese and Alan talk about how your thoughts are creating a story in your head (all the time) to make sense and meaning of what you’re going through. Annaliese highlights the profound impact your thoughts have on creating a storyline in your head. This internal narrative is the main impact on whether you approach situations feeling unsure or confident. Understanding the thoughts story forming behind the scenes in your brain empowers you to take control of your inner world, no matter what's happening in your outer world.
You’ll Hear About:
Mindful Interaction with Thoughts: Interact more purposefully with your thoughts. By asking questions and observing your chosen perspective, you can identify and change the ongoing story in your mind.
Positive Self-Talk: Recognize the positive stories you're already telling yourself. This self-awareness helps you navigate challenges with evidence that you already can do this, and helps you make intentional changes in the stories that may be holding you back.
Curiosity in Thought Life: Ask yourself, "What did that mean to me?" Dive into the layers of what you're thinking, remembering that much of it is optional. You have the power to decide what serves you and what doesn't.
Navigating Challenging Moments: While you can't control outcomes, you can control your responses and picking different thoughts. Practice thinking thoughts in challenging situations that remind you of what you CAN do, reaffirming your capability and resilience.
Long-Term Change: Remind yourself why you're doing the hard work in your life that's leading you to longer term goals. Choosing this perspective helps you find meaning and enjoyment in your thought story as you navigate difficult situations.
Balance in Acknowledging Success and Failure: Take note of where you're weighing failures a lot more heavily than successes. This unbalanced perspective feels disempowering and limiting, right? Set yourself free again by normalizing failures and mistakes more and crediting your successes regularly.
Facing Uncomfortable Feelings: If a particular story in your head makes you feel unsafe, acknowledge that. Recognizing where you feel uncomfortable gives you strength to face fears, understanding that discomfort is a normal part of how you're growing.
Resources:
www.linktree.com/coachannaliese : Ready to live more authentically? Grab your free 60-minute Discovery Chat with Annaliese. No strings attached, just an hour of insightful tools and support for your life.
Practice: Stop The Story
Visualize a Big Red Stop Sign to interrupt the negative story when you feel it
Notice, feel, and name the feeling you're having (e.g., insecure, overprotective, incapable).
Remind yourself that the negative meaning isn't the whole picture. You have the right (and option) to feel safe and capable.
Use this moment to identify your needs and tell a new, empowering story.
Repeat this practice as daily as possible to build new stories that support your growth!
Remember, you have the power to change the story in your head. It's time to live authentically and embrace the narratives that actually empower your journey.
Music Credit: Lo-Fi Chill Hip Hop - Rob Barnes

17 - Update Your Definitions To Live Like You Really Want To

In This Episode:Annaliese and Alan dive into the powerful impact of the definitions we hold in our minds, often subconsciously, and how they're shaping what's important to us. Take a real look at your definitions of goal-pursuing words like "organization," "success," and "productivity." Are these definitions working for you or against you? Annaliese emphasizes the transformative effect of taking charge of your thoughts, words, and definitions, showing you a path to live authentically and not let the past hinder present desires. The key takeaway? Take charge yourself to refresh and update the rules that are leading your life.
You’ll Hear About:- How you have your own rules that have been guiding your life (whether you knew it or not). They're either supporting you or hindering your progress!- How powerful it is to redefine your rules and definitions to keep you moving forward.- Practical steps to identify and overcome your limiting thoughts (below in Resources!).- How you are building evidence for your brain every time you take an action based on a more empowered definition (that you pick!).
Resources:- www.linktree.com/coachannaliese - Ready to live authentically? Grab your free 60-minute Discovery Chat with Annaliese, for insightful tools and support to apply to the circumstance you're in.Practice the Big Red Stop Sign to take charge:  - When anxiety creeps in, pause by picturing the Big Red Stop Sign.  - Let that space help you notice and name your feeling, and remind yourself you're in charge  - Ask the feeling why it's there, and see how you can support yourself getting your need metGet Curious: Notice what’s holding you back  - Identify obstacles by questioning your thought and definitions about the habits or behaviors you need to move forward. Why do you feel stuck? What are you avoiding? Why are you avoiding it? What is making you feel disqualified from beginning to practice what you need?  -Identify what your definitions or thoughts need to be to shift you back to feeling in charge and capable to handle what's in front of you. You can experiment here! Just give yourself openness to try a fresh perspective in your definition that empowers you to move forward like you want.
3 Steps to Change Your Thought:  1. Reword your new definition in the present tense. (ex. "Self-care is productive. Self-care is what keeps me accomplishing what's meaningful to me.")  2. Align your definition with your true capabilities. (ex."Prioritizing taking an hour-long nap on most days is something I realize I can do when I set it up ahead and protect the time for it. I decide to use time how I need it most by thinking about it in advance.")  3. Craft a definition that helps you face and accept reality. (ex. "When I do new things or events or spend a lot of social time, I need extra support to not feel so run down. I remind myself that I'll need to block a extra time off proactively for more regular self-care and refreshing activities during busier weeks.") 
Listen in with us and feel yourself empower your life by redefining the terms that are shaping your journey!

16 - People-Pleasing, Procrastination, And Prioritizing Yourself

In This Episode: Annaliese and Alan explore the profound impact of procrastination on your own confidence, and really show the significance of following through and living more from your core values. Learn how to live in more freedom from people-pleasing and start prioritizing yourself.
You’ll Hear About:
Procrastination's subtle yet negative effects on your identity and trust in yourself.
Doing less people-pleasing so you can stand in your own authority to make choices that genuinely matter to you.
Identifying your own core values and acting in more ways that support them.
Practicing the empowering exercise of actually evaluating the reasons behind your hesitation, and see how to support your follow-through that much more!
Prioritizing what's actually important to you in your life so you can embrace yourself more and have healthier relationships with others.
Resources:
Ready to live authentically and intentionally? Have your free 60-minute Discovery Chat with Annaliese. No strings attached, just invaluable tools and support.
"Follow-Through More" Questions to Ask Yourself:
Do I know what I want specifically? (describe this, how I’d feel, what it is)
Do I know what I don’t want specifically? (describe this, how I feel, why I don’t want it)
Do I know why I want what I want? (why is this important to me, what I want it to give me)
Do I know what’s specifically in my way?
What will it take to support myself following through?
7 WHY’S (based on Simon Sinek’s book Find Your Why): Ask yourself “Why?” 7 times in a row. (“Why,” “Why does that matter,” or “Why is that important to me?”). Record your answers to these 7 Why's to uncover your deepest motivation for personal growth.
Don't miss this episode to help you deal with procrastination, connecting with your core values, dropping people-pleasing habits, and living authentically.

15 - Use Helpful Words In Your Self-Talk (Even In Hard Circumstances)

Annaliese and Alan dive into the power of your words, and how they shape your personal growth journey. They emphasize the importance of the language you're using in your self-talk and how it impacts your ability to make progress. Annaliese highlights that the story you tell yourself can either empower you or stress you out. It's all about recognizing and adjusting your thoughts to steer your choices more intentionally, free from external pressure or the old standard you've been used to.
You’ll Hear About:
You're telling yourself a story in your mind. Does it feel empowering or limiting to you? Your inner story reveals whether you see possibilities in your situation, or feel trapped. Try adding the word "yet" if you want to do something that you haven't been able to before, or using words that make you feel allowed to be right here, right now.
Making the effort to change your language is worthwhile because it puts you back in control. Your thoughts steer your actions, so you must decide if they are propelling you forward or holding you back.
Recognizing that you have a choice in the language you use within your thoughts is a crucial step in taking charge back over your life, even during moments of frustration or difficulty.
Craft words into your thoughts and change the story in ways that that are helpful, hopeful, and truthful to you right now. How do you want to feel? You have the power to pick words that pave the way for the direction you want to go.
Shift your thoughts from:
“I don’t know.”
to a thought like, “I do know something. What do I know that can help me progress?”
“I can’t change it, what do I do now?”
use this as a prompt to explore deeper: “What can I do right now? What's one action I can take to move forward?”
Resources:
Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese to take a new route on your journey to being your true self. Have your own free 60-minute Discovery Chat – a no-strings-attached opportunity for insightful tools and personal support with Annaliese.
Explore Alan’s book, “Journeying With Pain,” at: https://winningathome.app.neoncrm.com/np/clients/winningathome/product.jsp?product=70&
The 3 Questions To Know Your Self-Thought:
How do I actually feel about this? (use real words to describe your true emotions)
What does that mean I think about me?
What could I think differently that would be helpful to me? *Taking action based on your new thought helps you to be who you want to be, starting now.
Best Way To Practice Reclaiming Your Words:
Identify a specific challenging situation.
Consciously observe the thoughts you have about yourself related to this issue.
What words in this thought make you feel trapped or limited? What words could you replace those with that would make you feel more open and capable (even if you can't control the situation)?"|
Apply what you've learned to feel more capable and gain more options.
Music Credit:Lo-Fi Chill Hip Hop - Rob Barnes

14 - Update Yourself: The Simple Tool For Meaningful Growth

Annaliese and Alan talk about how when you’re working to make changes, it’s good to be aware that the ways you think about yourself make a huge impact on your new behavior, words, and thoughts, and your results. Annaliese brings up a mental tool that she’s created for herself and her clients called “Update Yourself”. This is the practice of thinking about yourself in a more empowered and capable way than you have before, which reshapes your self-image and helps you make change possible.
In this episode, you'll learn ways to:
Unlock Your Brain's Potential: Notice the power you have to update your self-image by rewiring your brain using better thoughts that redefine your capabilities and help you embrace change.
Empower Your Choices: Take control of your decisions by helping yourself think in ways that break you free from old unhelpful patterns that had you settling, and let go of limiting standards like perfectionism.
Transformative Self-Stories: Discover how noticing and updating your self-stories affect your body and mindset, and give you more fuel and motivation by practicing celebrating your growth more daily.
Building a Better Relationship with Yourself: The "Update Yourself" tool acts like your bridge inside yourself, helping you move away from self-doubt and into belief in who you want to be, owning your own newfound capability to make change happen.
Positive Mindset: Shift your focus while you're working on making change happen from negative assumptions to more positive expectations when it comes to navigating uncertainty. Keep it lighthearted and doable!
 
Annaliese also provides a practical 3-step process to Update Yourself:
Reflect on how you're different today compared to your past self. "What do you care about now that you didn't before? And how am I different than I used to be?"
Acknowledge your improvements and share these positive changes with yourself. This self-recognition is a powerful motivator!
Remember that the ultimate goal is engaging with your life as your true self, not chasing a perfect outcome. Focus on the changes you want to make and find thoughts that make these changes seem possible for you and satisfying to you.
Resources:- www.linktree.com/coachannalieseWant to live like your real self, more and more? Click my link to grab your free 60-minute Discovery Chat with me. Let's chat, no strings attached. Just an hour of insightful tools and support. Can't wait to connect with you!-A values-forward time management book I love: The One Thing by Gary Keller - https://a.co/d/fQX3Q7J
Join us on Wake Your Dream, where we rewrite the stories we tell ourselves, believe in our ability to change, and practice everyday ways to cultivate a positive, growth-oriented mindset.
Subscribe today and continue encouraging yourself weekly on your journey to be more empowered, authentic, and fulfilled!

13 - Recognize Your Wins: Celebrating Everyday Small Steps

Are you giving yourself credit for even your smallest, daily steps? Annaliese and Alan talk about how this helps your confidence because you know you're going where you're trying to go. When you don't credit your progress, you'll feel stuck more quickly, believing there's an obstacle to where you're going and who you want to be.
Crediting each step helps you think more capably and confidently and feel like you matter and you're creating things you want for your life.
You'll Hear About:
The difference between who you are and who you want to be is in the way you're thinking.
Small, tiny steps are your milestones. Owning them is what creates the end result you're picturing.
A lot of life is sitting in something that's unfinished.  You will experience falling short along the way. Crediting your progress makes you feel more stable, capable, and connected to the everyday work you're doing.
You don't need as much support from others as you think when you practice crediting your own progress and celebrating your own milestones regularly.
Resources:
www.linktree.com/coachannaliese <-- Are you ready to live like the real you, more and more? Grab your free 60-minute Discovery Chat here so I can show you how. Just you and me, no strings attached. Just an hour of insightful tools and support. Can't wait to connect with you!
Mental Tool: Ladder Thoughts
Picture your current thought as a rung on a ladder you're standing on.
Your brain, by default, notices what's negative. Does your current thought feel like you're going downhill? Now is when you reverse that. Pick whether you want to keep thinking the current thought!
Picture yourself choosing a better thought that faces you forward. Just a 1% better thought than the thought you're currently thinking. Be intentional, and screw it into your ladder.
Repeat that thought so you can climb up and move forward.
Music Credit:Lo-Fi Chill Hip Hop - Rob Barnes

12 - Emotional Self-Care To Take Control of Your Day

Annaliese and Alan talk about getting caught up in the feelings of right now. Bring yourself back to feeling more present and give your day another chance. Annaliese brings up ways to practice emotional self-care, and how to face and handle the struggle throughout the day so your mind can work for you, not against you. You can act like you DO have a choice even when you don’t feel like you do.You’ll Hear About:-Noticing is powerful when your current feeling is trying to take over and tell you that it’s the whole picture of your life (noticing helps you remind yourself it’s not!)-Your feeling is a signpost – it’s telling you to take a second and care for yourself NOT telling you to shut down your day-Emotional maturity is the ability to sit with discomfort. It’s the difference between caring or avoiding. If you can practice sitting in your discomfort, you’ll be able to create more of the mindset, real self-care, and actions that feel way better in your dayResources:- www.linktree.com/coachannaliese <-- Ready to live like the real you, more and more? Click my link to grab your free 60-minute Discovery Chat. Let's chat, no strings attached. Just an hour of insightful tools and support. Can't wait to connect with you!- Ten Percent Happier (meditation app)https://www.tenpercent.com/membership- Defy The Lie (practice)Instead of always trying to outrun that consuming, negative feeling (the fire-breathing dragon!), just do the simple thing you haven’t done yet – Stop.Physically stop and turn around to face it.It might feel terrifying, but listen… the power is NOT in the negative thought or feeling, the power is only in the cycle of you repeatedly trying to run away and get away from it. Break the fear pattern by stopping and turning and taking the time to attend to your thought and face what you’re really experiencing.
Music Credit:Lo-Fi Chill Hip Hop - Rob Barnes

11 - Find Your Why

Annaliese and Alan talk about finding your Why and how knowing your inner reasons for making change is what helps you follow through. Annaliese brings up how finding your Why connects you with your actual purpose, and owning what you care about underneath your goals and the decisions you’re trying to make makes you feel like you matter in your life.You’ll Hear About:-Want to prioritize what actually matters to you? Knowing your Why helps you helps you do that. No matter your situation, you will always feel more satisfied when you make life decisions based on your Why.-Do you agree with what you’re doing and choosing in your life? What are the reasons you want to do things differently? That’s your Why.-Ask yourself who you want to be in your life. What would you most regret NOT doing? That’s your Why.-Thoughts are powerful tools for you to make change! They work as footholds for you to take the new steps in the change you want, own your Why more, and feel more satisfied and accomplished in your life.Resources:- www.linktree.com/coachannaliese <-- Ready to live like the real you, more and more? I want you to too! Click my link to grab your free 60-minute Discovery Chat. Let's chat, no strings attached. Just an hour of insightful tools and feeling supported. Can't wait to connect with you!- “Find Your Why” book by Simon Sinek- Mental Tool: Ladder Thoughts   1. Picture your thought as a rung for the ladder you’re standing on.   2. Picture yourself choosing a thought that’s just 1% better than the thought you’re currently thinking.   3. Be intentional, and screw that thought into your ladder. Repeat it to yourself so you can climb up and move forward.
Music Credit:Lo-Fi Chill Hip Hop - Rob Barnes

10 - Overcoming Obstacles

Annaliese and Alan talk about how obstacles are a frustrating, but normal (and sometimes empowering) part of making changes in our life. Annaliese brings up how obstacles are challenging, but thinking new ways about them help you get better results than before.You’ll Hear About:
Embracing Normal: Obstacles are a normal part of intentional living, and acknowledging they will happen is the first step towards growth.
Your Relationship with Yourself: The way you navigate obstacles is a reflection of your relationship with yourself. Learn how self-awareness can empower you to overcome challenges.
Handling Obstacles: Understanding how you typically respond to obstacles gives you a valuable opportunity to redefine how you see yourself and start thinking better thoughts.
You Have A Choice: Every obstacle is an internal choice point for you. You have the agency to decide how you'll handle challenges, even when it feels like you're trapped.
God Made You Capable: Annaliese reminds us that we're designed by God to conquer obstacles from a place of real capability, confidence, and curiosity.
Resources:- www.linktree.com/coachannaliese <-- Ready to live like the real you, more and more? Click my link to grab your free 60-minute Discovery Chat. Let's chat, no strings attached. Just an hour of insightful tools and support. Can't wait to connect with you!- Steps Of Facing An Obstacle: 1. See that it’s normal (showing yourself you can do it) 2. Stop and slow down enough to hear yourself think 3. Face it and describe what you think 4. Be specific and remind yourself of the evidence you have that you’ve been through experiences before that will help you with this obstacle now- Journal Prompts (to get to your deeper thought):QUESTIONSWhat am I thinking about me? What am I thinking about this obstacle? What am I thinking is the cost in how I’d handle this?7 WHY’S (based on Simon Sinek’s book Find Your Why):When you answer why you're feeling anxious about an obstacle, ask yourself “Why?” 7 times in a row. (ex: “Why”, “Why does that matter”, or “Why is that important to me?”). Write your answers to these 7 Why’s to get you to your deeper thought.
Music Credits:Lo-Fi Chill Hip Hop - Rob Barnes